Chris, 33

'Both Sides of Life'

“I’ve lived both sides of this life. I’ve lived the sober life. I’ve lived the drug life. I’ve been on drugs for a minute. I started [living on the streets] when I was 23. Things happen in my life. I get kicked out of places.

Cops took all my stuff two days ago. One day I told them, ‘Just go spend a week in the shelters – a week. That’s all you gotta do. And then you might be more lenient about arresting us.’ Shelters ain’t all what they’re cracked up to be. Have the mayor go in there and see for a whole week. She wants to shove us all into homeless shelters.

I’m, like, head spotter here, man. That’s why I sit up against a wall. I can see all these people, all angles. Know what I mean? I take it into my own hands. I’ll watch every angle. I let everyone know what’s going on.

I’ve died twice being a gang member. I’ve been shot, stabbed. I got shot in the shoulder, elbow, like eight years ago. I got shot in the leg and hand in Ogden. The other two were in California.

I could write about so much [stuff] that happens out here. I used to carry bear spray around. There’s a lot of us who carry bear mace around here. I used it twice. Okay, so, like, we have block moms, street moms, you know, hood moms, whatever. Women who take you in. Everyone is different. This one cat went up to my mom at the time, started touching the bikes. I was right behind him. I said, ‘Are you deaf or something? She said, don’t touch the bikes.’ He started to punch me – he went, but stopped. He goes, ‘You’re lucky I didn’t hit you like a [expletive].’ I said, ‘What?’ Then I [makes a spraying sound] hit him one time. He walked away, and you could see the orange on his shirt. It shoots 30 feet and it cones out.

We’re normal, too. We’re like everybody else. I don’t even call it homeless. I call it houseless. We just can’t afford homes. I’ve talked to a lot of these cops, and they say they can’t even pay their own mortgages. And they’re supposed to be getting top dollar?

I’m trying to wean myself off what I’m doing, so I can go back to work. But I’ve got to get my mental state back. I’ll go talk to a counselor and everything. I’m bipolar, and I have anxiety through the roof. There are some nights I don’t sleep because I don’t need anyone jacking my (stuff). Cops have taken my stuff four times. Four times I’ve had to start over. Square one.”

Photograph and story documented by Stephen Speckman.